A Bit of a Problem
by WindyEvee
Summary: 2D has some "guy problems," and needs Murdoc to help him with them. SPD!2D, actually-decent-person!Murdoc A/N: SPD stands for Sensory Processing Disorder, which is why 2D gets overstimulated by this. Sorry Murdoc, you can no longer be a "Great Sex God". Kudos to my pal for helping w/ this
1. A Bit of a Problem

Headcanon 1: addition to Stuey's(an OC) earlier headcanon, these "puberty problems" also include ***ahem*** sexually developmental problems (u darn teens and ur hormones). 2D deals with these problems (minus the word "developmental" bc he's an adult) in a similar way, mainly talking to Murdoc about it. He also gets super flustered and shaky, mainly because he's worried about how it would feel to ***another ahem*** " _fix"_ the situation. (Not that he wouldn't like it of course, he's just afraid of how he would react to it sensually) Murdoc doesn't mind this and helps him through it (which takes like an hour because he doesn't want 2D to get any more nervous than he already is). During the fact, (wow this is getting deep) 2D usually shakes a lot and sometimes flinches away [it's ok m8 take your time] and sometimes makes little noises to accompany this (he's not hurt or anything, just sensitive). He's usually okay after the fact, sometimes still shaking a little. Murdoc doesn't mind this either and then spends a while snuggling 2D and telling him how well he did

I should warn you now, this isn't extremely graphic, but don't show it to your younger friends/siblings. We'll just go with "mildly suggestive" and leave it at that. I'll shut up now, enjoy the story. (I'm not good at typing accents)

"Ow!"

The sound of someone softly hitting something wakes me up. I sit up and turn my head to see 2D standing in the doorway.

"Hey Bluebell," I say, "what's up?"

"I-I stubbed my toe on the wall." He replies, not looking at me.

"I can see that." I say, trying to hold back a laugh. "But why else are you here? It's-" I look at the clock, "-one in the morning."

"Um, well," he starts, still not looking at me. "Somefing h-happened.."

"Oh?" I say, "What would that be?"

2D doesn't answer, playing with the bottom of his shirt. I look at him for a second. His face is flushed- his cheeks a dark pink- and his hair is clearly unbrushed. (Shut up, I forget sometimes.) His shirt is a little too big for him, and has some weird looking Pokemon on it(a shirt that is obviously Kendall's). He's not wearing any pajama pants, just some dark green colored boxers. I snap out of it for a second, focusing on him again. He still hasn't said anything.

"You okay there?" I ask, trying not to intimidate him.

He shrugs a little, "Yer not gonna h-hurt me?" He stammers.

I shake my head. "Of course not. C'mere." I pat the spot next to me.

He scooches forward, slowly sitting down next to me on the bed.

I move closer so the outsides of our legs are touching. "Talk."

He sighs and rests his head on my shoulder. "Yew won' be mad?" I shake my head again.

It's quiet for a moment before he mutters, "It happened again."

"Nightmare?" He shakes his head.

"N-no, worse." It takes me a moment to realize what he's talking about.

"Oh. You mean, _that_ problem?" I say quietly, subconsciously looking between his legs. He looks up at me questioningly, and I quickly turn my head away, feeling my face heat up.

"Er, do you think you're gonna be okay?" I ask him when I find my words again.

"N-no," he stammers, obviously uncomfortable, "I-I tried to get rid of it but nothing w-worked." he's practically crying now. I feel my heart sink.

"Well, it's late, and if you need help just ask." I state with much less feeling than I intended. "Are you sure you don't want to wait for it to stop or anything?"

"No!" he whines; I can tell that he needs me now.

"C-can yew m-make it g-go away?" He asks, looking down at the floor; I worry that my last statement made him nervous.

"I'll try," I say, "are you sure you want to?" He nods, but I can feel him shaking against me. I try to make myself seem more approachable, but it's all in vain.

I take a quick breath and lift him onto my lap. As soon as I do, he turns around and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder.

"Stu," I ask, "what on Earth are you doing?", even though he always does this, I feel more love towards him because of it.

"'M getting ready." He mutters.

I shake my head and chuckle a little. "Dents, we've been over this, that's not how it works. You need to turn the _other_ way."

He blinks, blushing a bit. "Oh yeah." He mumbles.

I laugh and turn him around, resting my head on his shoulder. I wrap my arms around his waist and take a breath again. _Well, it's now or never._

"Wait!" He cries suddenly, making me jump a little.

"What is it?" I ask. _What could be so important that you nearly gave me a heart attack for?_ I become annoyed even though he's scared.

"D-do we 'ave to do it this way? I can't 'old onto anyfing.." He looks embarrassed.

"Oh, right," I start, "..would it make you feel better to hold onto something?" He nods, sniffling.

I look around until I notice one of Noodle's stuffed animals lying on the ground next to us. I smile a little and pick it up, handing it to him.

"Here you go." I say softly. _So far so good._

He smiles a little. "Fank yew." He mumbles.

"You ready now?" I ask gently.

"Mmhm." He whimpers, not making eye contact.

I move my hands down farther than before and rub a bit. He squeaks and pushes his back against me, nearly knocking me over.

"You're okay." I reassure him, waiting for a moment before continuing. _Don't go too fast, you idiot,_ I tell myself, _you don't want to scare him._

"Is this okay?" 2D hesitates a moment before nodding, trying not to tuck his legs up to his chest.

After a while I hear him whimpering a bit, and what sounds like...crying?

"Dents, you okay?" I lift him off my lap and turn to look at him.

He brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them, a few tears sliding down his face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, knowing that he's really struggling.

"I d-don't like it." he whispers, trembling.

My face falls, and I crawl over to him, wrapping my arm around him. "Are you okay?"

"N-no," he sobs, "i-it's too m-much."

"It feels bad?"

He looks up at me, his eyes wide. "No, i-i'm sorry. D-did I hurt yer f-feelings?"

I shake my head. "No, I just wanted to make sure you were okay is all."

"'M'mkay, really." he mutters, his voice muffled by his arms, which he's buried his face in.

"I'm not sure," I say, fairly concerned, "Do you want to stop?"

He shakes his head quickly. "I-I c-can't." he says sheepishly.

"Why not?" _Murdoc, you big devil. What'd you do this time? The kid's terrified!_

"I-I feel weird. I hate it. I w-want it to g-go away." He cries silently into my shirt.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." He smiles at me.

I lift him up a bit and continue what I was doing before, gently palming at him. (A/N: Kind of like a cat. Which was irrelevant, but whatever.)

This goes on for a few minutes more before I feel him tense up, letting out a little gasp of surprise.

"2D, what's wro-" I'm cut off by 2D tackle-hugging me down onto the bed, knocking the wind out of me.

"What…" I look down. He's got me in a death-grip, as if he's afraid to let go of me. I can feel his heart beating rapidly, his body twitching a little at the simple contact we were suddenly making.

"Hey," I say, trying to keep my voice soft, "what happened?"

He tries to answer me but is cut off by a loud sob. He quickly wraps his arms back around me, shuddering.

I run my hand through his hair a few times. "You okay?" I ask softly. "Are you done?"

"I-it's o-over?" he stutters, looking up at me fearfully.

"Is it?"

He waits for a minute before answering. "I-I fink so..y-yeah."

I smile down at him and gently kiss him on the forehead. "Do you feel a little better now?" I ask.

He nods. "Um...now what?" he says shyly, his face flushing a bright pink.

I shrug. "I'm not too sure you want to keep those pants on."

"Mmhm." he mutters, hiding his face in embarrassment.

I laugh a bit and get up to go find him some pajama pants. (Because in what rightful universe would Murdoc Niccals own underwear?)

I find some (eventually, let's just hope they're decently clean) and hand them to him. "Here you go." I whisper, noticing that he nearly fell asleep in the short moment that I was gone.

"Fanks." he whispers back.

I let him change quick, then crawl back into bed with him, pulling him closer to me.

"What're yew doing?" he asks, looking at me.

"Letting you stay?" I say in a _duh_ tone.

He smiles, looking down. "Oh, o-okay." he mutters, scooting close to me.

I roll my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep.


	2. Amarillo and Sad Pickle Dads

Chapter 2: Amarillo and Sad Pickle Dads

I try to focus on the screen as much as possible.

After an exceptionally long meltdown, I've decided to come into the living room and watch TV. I wasn't sure what to watch, however, so I try to keep my eyes open as some weird-ass little kid show is playing.

As for what caused this meltdown, it's just as hard to explain as all the others. Some was caused by various people yelling on the walk home the other day, some by the oddly bright lights in the car park this morning, and some just by the stupid whale jokes that Murdoc kept making today just to scare me. I take a shaky breath and feel a few tears slide down my face.

But I can't wake him up. He's had trouble sleeping lately and I didn't hear anything coming from his room earlier so he must be sleeping

Right?

I hear the floor creak all of a sudden and turn to see Murdoc standing in the doorway.

Speak of the devil. Kinda…

"What're you doing out 'ere?" He asks, looking confused.

"I could ask yew the same fing." I mutter.

He shrugs. "Couldn't sleep."

"Had a meltdown." I reply, feeling myself shudder.

A look of sympathy suddenly crosses his face. He comes over and sits down next to me, pulling me onto his lap. I sigh and let myself silently cry a bit more, resting my head in his lap.

We sit in silence for a while, Murdoc starting to play with my hair. After I feel better I sit up and put Murdoc on my lap.

"If this is a short joke.." He begins threateningly.

I shake my head. The awkward stiffness goes on for a moment before I move a little and hold his hands.

"What are you doing?" He asks, seeming annoyed.

"You 'aven't been sleeping well lately," I say, "I'm making yew feel better."

"Dove…" He sighs, sounding more tired than he should.

I squeeze him a little and kiss his neck. "Shh." He sulks and gives up.

After a few minutes, I pull him closer to me, softly humming in his ear.

"Don't you dare." He growls, scowling at me.

"Go to sleep." I whisper, laying down on the couch and pulling him with me so we're on our sides.

"Only if you stop humming." He pouts.

"Okay." I reply, wrapping my arms around him and starting to rub his back.

"Stu, I swear to God," he says gruffly, clearly annoyed but somewhat sleepier sounding.

"Go to sleep." I say again, kissing the top of his head.

"I hate you." He mutters, burying his face in my chest.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." I reply sarcastically, moving my hand in little circles around the back of his shoulders.

After a few minutes more, I notice he hasn't even closed his eyes.

"Go to sleep." I whisper.

"I'm scared." He mumbles.

"Of what?" I laugh, looking at him as if he's crazy.

He shrugs. "Dunno, just am."

"Mu'doc…" I whine, "Go to sleep."

"No."

I sigh again. "The mountains are waiting…" I sing softly.

"Stu, holy shit-"

"The full moon has come…"

Murdoc glares at me. "If you don't stop that right now I swear-"

"I got lost on highways…"

He groans and slams his head into my chest. "Fine, I give up."

I smile and continue singing, still rubbing his back.

"Don't ask me where I've been, or what I've done…"

I stop there, using my free hand to play with the bottom of his shirt. Before I can even think of starting the next verse, he's fallen asleep. I smile and rest my head on top of his, letting myself drift off.


End file.
